Laser Beam Your Eyeballs to 20/20 with Lasik Plus Surgery
Story, photos by Cassie Hepler
It seemed like a great idea never having to wear contacts or glasses again. And as much as I love some designer frames (bye bye my beloved Prada and Burberry), waking up and seeing perfectly was well worth it. Although it’s not all wine and roses my friends… It’s a slight hell but tolerable, here is my tale… with Facebook live video because we are in that “extra” digital era.
I wanted Lasik for years. But after some serious scoliosis fusion surgery, I needed a break from anyone or anything that even resembled a doctor’s office. But here I was in sunshine valley Arizona, doubling up my glasses with sunglasses on top and having it all slide down my face. I saw a couple other nerds like me and that was it, I looked like some crazy soccer mom in the mirror. Time to streamline and fix the ol’ eyeballs.
I booked the free consultation at LasikPlus in North Scottsdale by the Frank Lloyd Wright spire where they dilated your pupils and numbed your eyes, measuring and scanning until perfect. My vision was holding still at -2.00 so I was a prime candidate. Not for the $250 an eye TV special (you have to be -1.00 or below) but for the regular Lasik and PRK. Still pricey, I calculated the cost of my contacts and glasses alone were almost equivalent and PRK with its lifetime warranty was probably not needed with my not-too-bad but annoying vision. So straight Lasik with the one year option is what I chose. I picked a weekend that followed Memorial Day as most were still off work by then and it wouldn’t effect my schedule too much. My newly dubbed “Arizona aunt” Melanie Albert drove me out and we both were kind of freaked out. I requested a valium pill as I knew I’d be freaking out internally. The only thing I didn’t like was the day of the procedure they were trying to upsell me to the PRK procedure even though we had confirmed, Dr. Perry verified the night before as I was out having beers at OHSO, because I had large pupils. But when I went to speak with him privately he mentioned they never wrote down and/or measured my pupils. So I straight asked him what he had done. He said Lasik. So I said that’s what I want and he warned of headlight glare at night and that everyone needs reading glasses eventually. A small price to pay as I signed my life away.
Then I watched through the see-through glass theater people going in for max 5 minutes and coming out with ugly 90’s wraparound sunglasses on and repeat. No one else was on drugs and as the valium kicked in and everything was just fine and dandy, I’m glad I went that route. Finally with my heart racing, it was my turn. Even with the drugs, he said I was a squinter and squirmer. Call me crazy but having laser beams shot into your eyeballs – and yes, you can hear and smell it – was pretty intense. You can see the video below and also have yours filmed too as there is a person dedicated to Facebook live videos.
Right afterwards, it was as if I was in a haze. My body was in full flight status, I couldn’t see well at all. I needed to pick up drugs somewhere I think (and eyedrops as well as antibiotics). The first rule was to go to sleep so your eyeballs could heal but when I got home, I was tossing and turning and all sorts of not able to sleep. My body was telling me trauma happened and my brain was like go to sleep. Eventually I wore myself out and dozed off… to awaken to slightly blurry but clear vision. That was amazing. And even more so, the next day I drove myself for the follow up appointment with all eyeballs clear at 20/20!
It felt like I had sand in my eyes for a few weeks and needed constant eyedrops to keep them moist. To rest them daily, I would listen to NPR’s entrepreneur podcasts and close my eyes and just listen. Life kind of went into a weird, dark vampire pause as the sunlight was blinding even with the darkest sunglasses I could find online. But now I wake up without a worry or annoyance of face or eyeball gear which is priceless. When I’m older, I will still need reading glasses but everyone will eventually anyway with or without Lasik. And I went back for my yearly checkup with only the right one drifting to -.25 which still gave me 20/20 vision anyway so it was no big deal. Would I do it again? Hopefully I won’t have to but keeping my designer cat’s eye glasses, just in case! Below is my follow up appointment in Chandler, Arizona.
