Reporting from the front lines of being a childless cat lady who apparently is losing value with each menstrual cycle and year that creeps by, according to some piles of patriarchy poo. I’ve heard tales of the Great Wolf Lodge, mainly from my brother and his family about the one in the Poconos, Pennsylvania as the Taj Mahal of where kids go to play – with a built-in water park. So when the Public Relations team reached out for a hosted stay, I contacted my California bestie straight away as it would be weird and creepy to go solo (and sadly, no pets – or cats – allowed it would be chaos). With one teenager and a tween, we were reaching critical timing of it being not “cool” anymore. We were happy the question to go was met with a resounding yes and started planning as the boy child was turning 15 years old later in October (oddly enough, the exact same birthday as my mom and my niece) and we were just squeaking by with this experience!
Not having kids but being cool Aunt Cass is the title I strive to continue no matter how grey I get. And I’m pretty sure this staycation put the nail in the crowned coffin for sure. In my 20s and early 30s, the idea of children disgusted me. In my mid to late 30s, I was obsessed with having kids however looking back I think it was just my ovaries and body screaming at me to reproduce. Now I am happily childless and traveling the world which is much more fulfilling to me. I also struggled with the moral dilemma of continuing on these terrible scoliosis genetics. I don’t wish it on my worst enemy none the less a crotch goblin of my own. So hopefully the excruciating curved spine stops here… if only more people in the world would be mindful of their own horrendous genetics instead of thinking they need an heir. Alas, I digress!
We were up and at ’em in the morning, eager to get the day started and apparently everyone else was too as it was fall break in both Arizona and California so the place was packed. It’s very common to check in early, grab your color-coded wrist passes and set the wild ones free into the enclosed abyss that is Great Wolf Lodge in Scottsdale, Arizona. We were also excited as adults to have thousands of square feet for them to run free without much of a care in the world. Since I’ve been there since they were both babies, I’ve seen the transformation of velcro kids to much more independent and tall young adults. The wristbands, a weekly color that changes for each Wolf Pack as each family is called, is tethered to your wolf packs arms until you leave and surprisingly waterproof. It holds the power to purchase almost anything, open the room door and admit you all over the grounds. I’m not going to sugar coat anything here because let’s be honest, if you don’t have kids and then you are around thousands of them screaming bloody murder, you do feel like drowning yourself occasionally. Hell, I’m pretty sure the parents feel that way too by the look on their faces! Did I mention they have alcohol everywhere… even at the corner store inside?
Happy birthday to Hunter who is now 15 years old and getting so tall at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. He was ready to get in the waterpark with his water shoes on! The did not last long so get a more rugged pair if you want longevity.As soon as we walked in, I was super impressed with this balloon snake at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. Imagine how many hours that took to create! The whole space was decked out for Halloween, my favorite holiday.Of course a swag store full of things you may have forgotten, souvenirs and other random items at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.Upon checking in, the kids were gifted two Wolf Passes at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona which includes a lot of goodies!The back of the pass so you know exactly what goodies you got at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. They will mark them off along the way. Wolf Passes cost $69.99 as of October 2024.We then went into the store and got our complimentary wolf ears which we wore all night long at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. We were so excited! Don’t mind my grey roots, someday I’ll grow it all out and become a true elder wolf.Story time at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona was so cute but our wolf pack was on the hunt for adventure. Each night they also hosted a 9 p.m. dance party which we never made as apparently our Wolf Pack was too old to stay up late and party!Another amazing display at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona for Halloween with the California fam! We’ve been going on adventures since college and then since these kids were babies.Soon they were climbing on the tree house and posing for pics at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. It’s a lot harder than it looks up there! A similar one exists in Flagstaff and is for all ages but you need gloves for it and is much more rustic. Char soon dropped her ears so take them off before you climb.I felt my energy sliding and knew I needed a pick me up to last through the rest of the day! So off to Dunkin’ Donuts I went and got the biggest pumpkin oat milk with whipped cream drink ever at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. It’s a great idea for snacks but closes at 3 p.m. which is not ideal when you’re having your afternoon slump.After the kids were climbing for a while, they were ravenous and opted for a pepperoni pizza with sausage at Hungry as a Wolf pizza place in Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. I tried a slice and it was thick crust and tasty! A whole pie goes for about $20 here and is self serve through a kiosk like everywhere else.A dragon that you can activate with your wand guards the MagiQuest store at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. MagiQuest is a live action role playing game where players take the role of magic users. If I was a child, this would have greatly appealed to me!Inside the MagiQuest store at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona, a lot of capes and hats to get into the role. Quality was fair enough but save your money for a real velvet cape at a Renaissance Festival that will last a lifetime.To the left, the tan wands that are included in the Wolf Pass at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. You can upgrade to a fancier one for a fee, of course.This was the cutest little dragon I ever did see at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.It was this lovely lady’s last day and she was such a vibe at MagiQuest at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. Their loss for sure!Right next to the MagiQuest store was the Northern Lights Arcade at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. The kids had points to use with their Wolf Passes and did so quickly, tapping the ol’ mom bank shortly thereafter and scoring some toys and prizes afterwards.At this point, the adults were getting ancy so we parked our butts that thankfully fit into tiny lounge chairs at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. We were grateful for that! Also, bring scissors or at least toenail clippers to trim your wrist band from the floppiest flap around.
We also found out they had a food convention the exact same timeframe from another lady waiting for her room to be ready. I also Googled normal pricing which is about $429 a night! That boggled my mind. I have stayed at some of the nicest resorts in the world and they don’t cost that much per night. Bestie reminded me it included four water park passes so I guess that makes sense? Ya’ll, kids are way too expensive in this economy! No wonder no one is reproducing anymore. Finally, they text our room was ready and we never ran so fast to grab our luggage which you are able to have them hold when you get your passes.
Using my wristband, I was able to enter our Family Wolf Den Suite room easily at the Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. I did like going purse-less after we checked in and not being a pack mule. We were happy to be on the first floor, first room on your left as you went into the hallway. Somehow it remained quiet and was so convenient to return to as needed.The bunk beds were real mattresses at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. I was concerned about the boy child’s height though, he barely fit. I liked the privacy it gave us adults to binge Halloween movies each night!The restroom at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona with a wicked strong shower head. Plenty of towels and toilet paper when asked for however having outdoor showers at the pool would solve a lot of climbing on top of each other later.Our lounge area with birds chirping audio which tripped me out especially at night at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. The couch folds out into another bed which the boy child did end up enjoying the last night.A nice basket of junk food from the General Manager with water bottles in the fridge at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. This does not come standard but as a media gift. Another suggestion is they should have water bottle refill stations all over the park instead of filling up at the soda fountains which is how cross contamination happens (think cruise ships who aren’t savvy).
Once everyone got unpacked and all suited up in our bathing suits, water shoes and me in flip flops, we were off to the water park. It was late in the day at this point and the lines were almost non-existent as other families were probably beat by then. I always have a water case for my cell phone and bestie bought herself a hot pink one at the gift store that also floats. They check your kids height, arm tags and bags before you go into the park and are not allowed to bring outside food items but you are allowed water bottles and things bought inside the park. It’s slightly confusing but don’t try to slide a bucket of KFC in is the takeaway!
We were quite impressed upon walking into the Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. Even at their age, they still enjoyed dumping water buckets and this contraption. It was 84 degrees inside with a very strong chlorine smell which doesn’t bother most but my sensitive skin and eyes were a burning. I know why they do that… but we don’t talk about that do we? Just get a good shower afterwards.More water places to play at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.There were places for kids of all ages and sizes to play at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.What made me most happy was watching these two spazzing out, laughing and having fun at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. Mom wolf got the kids goggles for $10 each but they soon broke and/or went missing. Not really needed at this age!Waterslides included many tubes – solo or two person, family sized and what we called the “turd flusher” for the adrenaline junkies that dropped you down solo for wedgie time at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.Single and double person tubes waiting to be enjoyed at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. A small lazy river sits to the right and was more of a wading pool.I asked my bestie to do this with me but it would have been certain death at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.The lazy river at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.The Watering Hole at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona for all the parents who need alcohol. Lots of fruity poolside drinks available!Timbers was the Tex Mex style spot at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona and connected to the dry side and wet side where we were. The main kitchen was back there connecting all the food spots together. You had to use the kiosk to order which was annoying as well as entering in your phone number each time. I do NOT want to give out my cell anymore to anyone.This wolf was starving as that lone pizza slice was long gone so gobbled down a pretty tasty pile of elote and carne asada quesadilla at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. With quac on the side of course! Now I see why parents sneak off to eat in the car.Dying to go outside around sunset and swim in the open air salt water pool, we were sad to see it closes at 6 p.m. and opens at the hottest point of the day 11 a.m. at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. I guess for small children drowning reasons but damn, give the adults some fun time too!
We all went back to the room sopping wet and got as fast as we could showers in an awkward order which, like I said before, could be solved with some outside showers placed around the above pool. Kids don’t need as much scrubbing as adults do… yet! We were going to a “fancy” dinner at Barnwood, the nicest place on property for dinner. I wasn’t expecting much honestly and was pleasantly surprised at the quality for an amusement park.
The Halloween inspired drinks at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona with souvenir cups. It all seemed too sweet for me so I opted for a peachy old fashioned which was delicious and took away the screaming stress of the day.You can tell I’m tired by the photo of my salmon, perfectly glazed and delicious at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona with my barely there Old Fashioned hanging in the background. The girl wolf also enjoyed the same slab of fish!Two wolves got the steak and fries at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona which seemed to be well-received. I was not a fan of the fries but always love a good steak!And the onion rings were perfectly fried at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. We went back to the room afterwards and everyone – kids included – were beat. So an early bedtime it was!Our breakfast bear friend who was shy and slightly blind on each side at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. I was barely awake at this point as the first night in a hotel is usually rough as you acclimate.The next morning after a buffet breakfast ($25 for adults $12 for kids) we finally woke up and got ready for the water park again at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. This sign finally made sense to me as it was measured by height!Hunter and I bonding in our matching hats, rash guards and towels at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. So fabulous and extra!
We went on some more slides, rides and excursions in the water park but honestly I was tethered to the salt water swimming pool as that chlorine air was sizzling my eyeballs. There was also a hot tub outside but it was more like little kid soup, packed to the gills with small children probably peeing in it. This day we were very lucky to have found a table that was increasingly shaded as the sun moved around the sky. Other parents were sitting on the ground (hard pass for my scoliosis fusion) as tables and lounge areas for purchase sat vacant. That’s the thing about this place, it’s giving nickel and dime vibes for everything…down the the soda where there’s a sticker to activate it to pour for like 12 of the most anxiety inducing time of your life. I used to work in a movie theater in college, that ish is 10 cents a cup yo and hasn’t changed much! No wonder Great Wolf Lodge is a mammoth millionaire (almost billionaire) beast… don’t Google the CEOs salary beforehand, trust me.
The kids wanted to go back to the dry area activities so we all showered and changed in our room at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. This tween wolf barely fit in the cutout for kids at Wiley’s Den! She was a little afraid of the horror movies we were enjoying each night but would ask us random questions out of nowhere about what was happening next. Much like most hotels lately, you have to log into your own streaming service and offer no HBO, etc. Luckily there was an AMC Horror movie marathon for us goth gals to enjoy.So you have an idea of the pricing at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona, not terrible and some included in your Wolf Pass circa 2024.Char loves to climb things and chose the intermediate rock climb at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. The further left you went, the harder the climb.The kids kept talking about the mirror maze and we had no clue what it looked like so kindly asked the staff who let us through at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. Keep your hand held out in front of you! It’s part of the mining attraction.Soon it was time for burgers at Buckets in Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. This is the double smash burger meal deal and was pretty tasty (I’m team Coke, not Pepsi though ya’ll). These fries were a little longer and greasier which made them better too! I’m not a fan of this smashed burger trend however. It feels cheap and in ‘Merica, we like a pound of beef on our sandwiches please!Then we were back to games and tried mini bowling at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. It was fast but fun!By nightfall, we had to go on the Trick or Treat trail and made due with what we had brought. Hunter is literally wearing my clothes – and the stash sunglasses I gave him at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.It was pretty much a candy grab and photo opp time at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.Made for the littles, the kids had to duck a bit at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.This little tree was cute at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.The tall scarecrows were a bit creepy at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.Char runs away from a scarecrow at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.
After more Halloween series movies (there are sooooo many by the way including ones produced by Rob Zombie which is wild), we fell fast asleep. I had to set my alarm to get up and drive back home to deal with Cox internet – again. The story of my life each year I swear… so I was waiting about 2.5 hours for them to call and tell me they’ll come the next day same time. I wanted to strange them as I was missing fun family time! So I hightailed it back to Great Wolf Lodge Arizona to wash away the ick from Cox. And it worked!
Fortunately for us, they had an outdoor cabana Number 23 ready for my bestie and kids that morning at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. No one was there yet and they enjoyed the pool and hot tub to themselves for a precious few minutes.The interior of the cabana at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona includes water bottles, extra towels and a lunch menu at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona.And more swag that the kids loved at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona. Our fabulous waiter told us that during the off peak season, you can rent a cabana on Groupon and enjoy the pool that way.The kids were even given the endless refillable sippy cups at Great Wolf Lodge Arizona! According to Hunter, the space was small but fun and according to Char, she was obsessed with the MagiQuest and didn’t want to stop. By the time we got home however, they were like couch sloths and certainly needed some rest time. I don’t think any of us could have done a full week but some die-hards certainly do! All in all, I’d say we had a great time. Stuff comes and goes but memories last a lifetime ya’ll!
