Cruising the Mediterranean to Greece, Italy and Turkey with Royal Caribbean
Story, photos by Dave Brosius
Twenty years of marriage calls for something bigger than a mere sampler platter and a couple umbrella drinks. I know, you think I mean “also the cheesecake”. And while not wrong per se, you can do better. We say, plan an adventure that would be sure to put a mammoth-sized dent in the savings that you’ll have to explain to your accountant later with a car. The kind with the heavy card stock and embossed gold foil. Sorry, Sheila!
So how did we mark our first 20 years? After a little debate, we came to a conclusion: A two week Mediterranean Cruise to Greece, Turkey, Italy – book-ended with extended stops on both ends. Something significant to really make those endless 11 hour flights worth the hassle. What’s that you say? You can simply “take something” and sleep through the flight and wake up refreshed in a magical new land?
You’re adorable. What you don’t know is that I am one of those living saints that must remain awake throughout even the longest of flights, in order to keep the plane in the air with my own sheer willpower. Think of all those lives I saved by sacrificing my own rest and sanity in order for them to live to enjoy their vacations? I’m not saying I need to be immortalized in marble. But my face on a few stamps feels fair.
We left the warmth of Phoenix bound first for a quick eight hour layover in London, England to refill on crisps and to marvel at their ludicrous medieval electrical outlets. A second winged chariot delivered us to Athens, Greece where I went to work putting my marathon *Duolingo prep through its paces. It came in especially handy every time I needed to ask one of the locals for a carrot or an avocado. (*Greek joke #1)
Our balcony view of the Acropolis was as epic as our breakfasts were epicurean*. Europe always amazes me, when I pause to think how the newest thing there is as old as the oldest thing in the States. The march of progress brought WiFi to the same land where Hercules once walked alongside Danny DeVito. It’s truly a magical time to be alive. (*Greek joke #2!)
Soon enough we were aboard our ship, The Explorer of the Seas. Or “Exploder” as I jokingly called it when I saw the number of people being crammed into it. Thus began a strange routine: waking up to an early breakfast, then stepping into a new city to see just how much my battered Nikes could take before shambling back to a nice dinner on the nights we could make ourselves presentable or the come-as-you-are buffet when all we could offer the world was to get what I call “Wal-Mart” ready.
The overlap between the three course evening meals and the buffet offerings was as suspiciously thin, yet both left me notably thicker. Thanks, chef.
The cruise itself was a whirlwind of fun but probably standard fare. We took a pool day. Gambled a little, watched a surprising amount of karaoke and did a little bit of everything the ship had to offer. We ate too much, drank a bit more than we needed. We found a rubber duck and hid one that we brought. We carefully placed magnets featuring our Insta-famous pup Zeus the Min Pin around the ship. The uzh.
A good break from the monotony, the ports and stops highlights below!
There’s no explaining how crowded it was, even for an off-season visit. One of this “you -must-see” places that should also be billed as “you-must-be-taller-than-average-to-see” once you find yourself elbow to elbow with other amateur camera operators. Our excursion here was a “selfie tour” which sounds like something I’m already equipped and trained for. Kudos to them for finding a way to monetize it.
Snark-free highlights: A unique island inside the lake formed by a long gone volcano. Beautiful towns, tourist-friendly people, tons of great photo opps.
Crete, Tuscany and Chania, Italy
Suddenly a little too much freedom had us wandering the streets of this port-side town, finding a one of a kind horror show/cultural museum. We took an extended lunch to admire the ocean, enjoy the local cuisine, and to cower in fear from the nightmare we had only barely escaped.
Snark-free highlights: A great place for wandering, lots of little shops and tons of places to get lost (in the good way).
With little time to forget my Greek and cram a few basic phrases, we set out into the unknown of Turkey. We stumbled out of the endless bazaar and into the shop of a nice old man who shared with us the Turkish Delight (known locally as just “Delight” one would assume), and gave us scorching hot tea that was meant to somehow be consumed by firewallowers and/or dragons. A fun adventure, except for our feet.
Snark-free highlights: A paradise for shopping, a historic castle that requires careful foot placement.
Cyprus, Turkey
An island with Greek and Turkish history that is struggling to be something all its own. A quick stop to see the birthplace of Aphrodite (rumored, there were no cameras on hand), and a tour of other historic sites including a protected site where many old world mosaics have been unearthed and preserved. Fun for mythology nerds. All three of us!
Snark-free highlights: An island covered in rocky hills when inland and seaside views on the coast. Another relaxing place to eat, rest and… did I say eat?
Naples, Italy
A… let’s call it life-affirming… cliff’s-edge bus ride brought us into the narrow streets of Napoli. Rain and traffic ate up much of our planned time, but we managed to sneak in an amazing meal while seeking refuge from the worst of the weather. A walking (nearly swimming) tour of Pompeii followed, with us navigating slippery rocks and taking in the remains of this historic tragedy in our hastily purchased, fashionable vinyl new outerwear. The weather still made this only the second worst day in history to visit this place.
Snark-free highlights: In the shadow of (and in defiance of) Vesuvius is an amazing slice of world history.
We ended the cruise here and spent the better part of two days exploring the home of the “Brosius” line. With limited time, we made a greatest hits tour of everything you’d expect: The Colosseum (best viewed from the less-crowded attic level), The Trevi Fountain, The Spanish Steps, Vatican City, and a 147-hour hike to the Sistine Chapel. It was all amazing to see, but just so overwhelmed with tourists that we were ready enough when it came time to leave. We did get to finally meet our hotel’s Instagram-savvy bartender, Gian Luca (squeee!)
Snark-free highlights: The eternal city is worth the hype. Give yourself time to explore and to wander away from the crowd.
